I had a serious 'crush' on Usher Raymond as a little girl, though he doesn't know I even exist. And oh! I wasn't the only one crushing on him at the time, two of my friends were crushing on him too. In fact the number of girls grew after the duet with Alicia Keys, "My Boo". Listening to the song now I laugh at how young and naive I was; I still crush on people - it's natural - but certainly not an "Usher".
The word CRUSH is something young people are familiar with. It is used to describe the state of being very attracted to someone (especially opposite sex) and often times - if not managed well - can lead to heartbreak. In a situation where a crush is well managed, it can lead to a lasting relationship and in other to know the Pros and Cons of handling this rather 'unavoidable feeling', here are tips on managing crushes.
1. Consider all the reasons why you're crushing on this person: The first question to ask yourself if you're crushing on someone is... Why am I crushing on this person? Is it his/her personality, looks, intelligence, Diction (yes! Some people crush over this too), dress sense, smile etc., or just because you're REAL around them? When you've answered this first question then you need to ask yourself this...
2. Is it right? You need to ask yourself if this attraction is healthy for you. For instance, if would be wrong for you to crush over someone who's in a relationship or if you are in one yourself cos it certainly would end in hurt. Either you hurt someone or yourself. If your answer to this question is Yes! Then relax... I'll address your situation in the second part of this article. But if your answer is NO! Then we need to get rid of this unhealthy attraction. Fast before someone gets hurt.
3. Find a distraction. Now you know the reason (s) for the crush and the fact that it's unhealthy for you cos you have a relationship or this person has one too and any other reasons why this attraction is wrong. So avoid getting too close to this person, stop the regular calls, chatting or sms. Don't spend too much time alone with them cos - you might end up kissing him or vice versa or even worse. Avoid them as much as you can but don't intentionally ignore them cos this might lead to suspicion and too much questioning.
4. Lookout for loopholes: except the feeling is mutual, when you avoid a crush long enough, they naturally start to ignore you as well or you both become good friends with no strings -crushing- attached. But if you still feel a thing or two after avoidance, then it's time to look out for their flaws. Find out things you don't like about your crush and see if you won't see them in a different light.
5. Tell your partner about it: Yeah I know this is suicide, but shouldn't your partner be your closest buddy? If you can't tell him/her this then I think you have to revisit openness in your relationship. In telling your partner, you ease yourself of the undue pressure and your mind of the guilt or secret. There's something about sharing a secret with people (especially your closest pal), it has a way of making you 'see the light again' and probably jolt you back to reality. The reality that this attraction is just a mirage and won't do you any good.
6: This is the most important of the tips of managing a crush. Pray about it. Truth is God answers prayers in fact, He answers the simplest and genuine prayers faster. So talk to Him about this crush and the fact that you don't want it. Go to sleep and watch him remove such feelings from your mind.
Having a crush is a natural thing that happens to the best of us. In fact, we often don't see it coming, cos it creeps in unannounced. Still, it is our responsibility to manage our emotions and always try to put it in check so it doesn't get the best of us.
The bible says we should guard our heart with all diligence cause out of it flows life issues (feelings, thoughts, desires) that are capable of making us enemies of our own self.
A crush can be good or bad, it only depends on how you handle it.
Peggy
Thanks for reading.
