WHO PITY PARTY EPP?

"Don't be anxious to condemn yourself every time you fall.  Instead, patiently, gently, pick yourself up and start all over again.  Why are you surprised when the weak turn out to be weak, and the frail, frail?  When you turn out to be sinful?  When you fall, be gentle with your frail, weak heart. Lift your heart gently; accept your failure without wallowing in your weakness.  Admit your guilt in God's sight.  Then with good heart, with courage and confidence in His mercy, start over again."  St. Francis de Sales

This statement above has succinctly elucidated this post. I can as well end here and trust the Holy Spirit to give you more insight to it, but No! 

I have few tips to share. These tips have helped me overcome the guilt from my past shortcomings, shaped my everyday life and further strengthened my relationship and trust in God over the years.

If you’ve been following my posts, you would have noticed that my past and present life clearly depicts Psalms 40:20 and that is why I am so eager to share also with you because I am not ashamed of the gospel, it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes.... For the gospel reveals the righteousness of God that comes by faith from start to finish, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.” (Romans 1:15-17)

SO PERMIT ME TO SHARE

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Whether you’re already a “believer” or “struggling Christian”, we all have that moment when we miss it either by our actions or inactions. For the believer especially, this moment makes you feel disappointed in yourself and often times (for some people) it breaks the communication line between you and your Maker. 

It’s like a child who has broken a dish or burnt the only pot of soup left. Guilt sets in, fear follows and that child does everything to avoid mum for the whole of that day. 

However, one thing this child forgets is the fact that one can’t hide forever because, mum will find out, she will ask questions and punish someone if necessary. But, this won’t stop mum from preparing another pot of soup for the whole house or get a new dish for serving meals.

Now, picture this! If mum can forgive us, how much more a God who gave us His only son even when we didn’t deserve it? 

I was sharing with some friends recently and it was a discussion on John 3:16. I explained to them that, when we read that scripture during Sunday school (as a little girl, even as an adult for some), we didn’t realize it was “for God so loved the world…” As a statement of fact, our teachers didn’t even read as “loved”. What we used to say was “for God so love the world…”

Please note that the “love” is in past tense “loved”. That is; we’ve been loved even before we accepted the “Love”. If we’ve been loved, then it’s safe to say that even if we walk away from, wrong, or even forget that Love, it doesn’t change a thing. The Love remains. The Love is True. The Love is Sure. The Love is everlasting!

Now, if all these are true about God’s love towards us, why do we leave in guilt/ self pity when we “miss it” or over past mistakes? Why do we suddenly forget the greatness and genuineness of God’s love towards us and begin to feel “valueless” and self-pity?

I remember “those days”, I would stay away from church, and I didn’t feel comfortable to pray. I just couldn’t connect. All that kept coming to mind were the things I had done wrong. It was like a “favourite song” on replay and I would listen with my “Beat by Dre” Headphones, get so lost in the noise transiting from my ears to my head till I breakdown with Depression, guilt, self-pity or anger.

It was a terrible experience.

For the few times I managed to go to church, during worship, once my hands were lifted high and my eyes closed, the pictures began to display. The slides were so vivid as though I were in the act right there in church and once again I would disconnect for the rest of the service.

My breakthrough came when I realized that I was living in denial. I didn’t want to accept my foolishness (Yes! Ignorance causes one to be foolish). I felt too ashamed; to accept that I was that actress in the movie I had refused to watch.

If you’re still reading, I need you to realize that sin only thrives in darkness and secrecy. Once it’s exposed, light sets in and liberty comes too.

I got this revelation days after one of my friends told me “Chichi our sins past, present and future are forgiven” and I realized that although born again and tongue speaking, I had allowed the devil to keep me in bondage because of my ignorance of how much God loved (past) and loves (present) me and the fact that He keeps no record of my shortcomings. So why was I always throwing a pity party instead of a victory party?

Other revelations that set me free are found in the following scriptures, Psalm 32:2, Hebrews 8:12, and Romans 4:8. 

The key thing I got from these scriptures is the truth that God does not take record of our sins once we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour; His Death, shed blood and resurrection covers us.

While this statement above is valid, it is not a free ticket to take a long trip to “Sin City”.

Are you presently throwing any pity-party for yourself? Please ask yourself this, "Why Am I Throwing a Pity-party instead of a victory party?"

Did you get any answer? If you did not, my next article will shed more light on how you can get over the guilt from past mistakes.

I hope you'll read it😃😃😃

AFORCETORECKONWITH💖💖💖

P.S

Thanks for reading after my plenty weeks of silence.

Please don't forget to like, comment and share with your friends.

Someone out there needs to read this truth to gain freedom from the power of sin and the accuser(Satan).

I AM MARY MAGDALENE

This is an unusual Post!

But, I know it is for someone and I hope the person gets to read it.

Written as inspired.

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I was EVE!
My curiosity enslaved me to the serpent.
I totally forgot You already gave me everything I needed.
I believed the serpent, I thought something was missing and I needed to fix it myself.

How stupid I was!
How can You lie when You're not man?
You made me in Your image, I'm complete in You.

I was Gomer!
Well, I was living in a "whore-house"
But, I did disrespect You when I let men who weren't my husband in.
You already explained that my body is your dwelling place. 
But others were doing it and it felt good too.
I also didn't think You would want to be with me anymore...
I felt insecure and the serpent came again. he reminded me of how much You hated me cause of what I did.

How foolish I was!
To believe him, how could You hate? You're LOVE! YOU proposed to me on that old rugged cross, even after You knew how filthy I was. You also knew that I would cheat on you after our holy matrimony. You are all-knowing. You wrote the script!You made it clear that the love is ever lasting and my actions or in actions can neither diminish or increase this Love.

Like the Samaritan Woman,
I finally opened up to you once again
Even though I hesitated for a while.
How Wise that decision was!
Since then the Fountain has been overflowing
Your Word has been confirmed, cos the rivers of living water flows from my belly ceaselessly.
I just want to do You Good, love You right,
And bring Glory to Your name.

I AM MARY MAGDALENE
I break my Alabaster box today
I care less what they think of me
They weren't there when You found, cleansed and healed me
They are Pharisees,
All they see is how unfit and unworthy I am,

They see my SCAR!
But You saw and still see beauty in me.
How else can I explain Your willingness to die for a Mary Magdalene?
Only a Saviour can see life in a criminal that has been sentenced to death.
You didn't let them stone me to death.
My accusers disappeared just because You didn't accuse me.
You've been my day one Advocate.

LIKE MARY MAGDALENE
I have come to pour my praise on You like oil
I will love You with reckless abandon
I will speak of You every where I go
You will be seen in everything I do
And through me with Your help...
I will bring more Eves, Gomers, and Samaritan women to You.

I AM MARY MAGDALENE
You have forgiven me so much
That is why I love you so much.

CHICHI Ogbonnaya
#Aforcetoreckonwith

LETTER FROM A CONCERNED (SINGLE) SISTER

Hallos lovely!!!

It feels like forever since our last convo.

How was February?

I hope you've been SLAYING your goals.

February has been fulfilling for me, except for the fact that my bank account isn't making the many "kpakam" sounds as I had imagined💵💶💷💰. 

But it's a work in progress sha.

After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. Let's not stop setting the building blocks till we reach the finish line.

It's just February, a lot can change in 10 months.

Before I delve into this month's post; which is rather an unusual one, let me ask this...

...Did you get Roses🌹🌹, Chocolates🍫🍫, Gift or anything special during the Valentine celebration💑?

I mean from a "Lover" oo, not a sister, brother or friend.

If yes, congrats to you sis👍✌.

But if you fall into my category, don't worry nne. 

This post came while I was thinking about you and all our sisters that are single (to stupor)😂😂😂😂😂😂.

I can't say I was led to write this, but I certainly was inspired to.

Plus my February read was awesome too. If I'm to write a summary it will be:

"A woman ought FIRST, find God, develop an intimate and consistent relationship with Him, find herself (Purpose),and finally start a relationship with a man."

However, if you have found God, and you have a consistent intimate relationship with Him and you don't have a man yet...

..."Camdan" girl, don't carry the matter on your head like gala. 

"I have decided to take the matter into my own hands" (in Janette  ikz's voice) By writing this letter to our potential man and possibly future husband.

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Dear Future Husband,

Some of us are done waiting for you to come and sweep us off our feet.

We realised that we've wasted time carrying your matter on our head like bread for too long,

Hoping that one day we'll bump into your photo-shoot like Olajumoke and become a celeb in your abode.

But no more!!!

We've awakened to The fact that we are GOOD

And finding us is one way for you to obtain favour from God.

So while you're busy wondering why you've not obtained favour yet.

We'll be busy slaying our purpose,

And cooking all the delicacies our mama taught us,

For we, ourselves and us.

Being our own best friends

And doing all the interesting stuffs all by ourselves.

If you like come,

If you like no come,

We will keep praying for you.

That God will open your eyes.

And if your eyes have been opened already,

We will ask God to give you the boldness to speak,

And if you've spoken already,

We'll ask God to give you the grace to go on on knee,

And if it's resources that's still keeping you,

We'll  ask God to supply your needs according to His riches,

As for "that"favour....

For now, enjoy the one you get from man and God too,

But,

There's this one that comes with finding us,

And I'm afraid until you do, you...

Find us first....

Until then,

We won't stop praying for you

And slaying for our Maker.

Arestmacase!

From a concerned sister of, 

The Association of S.C.S

(Single Christian Sisters)

To the brothers of,

Association of S.C.B 

(Single Christian Brothers)

#Aforcetoreckonwith

Chichi Ogbonnaya

P.S

MY FEBRUARY READ

5 WAYS TO SLAY YOUR GOALS IN 2017

HAPPY NEW YEAR DEAR💃💃💃!!!!

How has New Year been? Mine has been great and full of decision making.

One of the decisions I've made thus far is to be consistent with my goal of reading at least one book every month. I didn't keep to it last year and nothing can distract me this year.

AMEN🙇🙇!!! (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me)

Another decision I made was to make sure I write here during or after reading my book for the month and I'm glad I have finished the book for January. So for me, January has ended. Lol😄😄!

"How You Can Be Led By The Spirit of God", this book by Kenneth E. Hagin, has opened my eyes to the fact that we really are a Spirit being and as children of God, He speaks to us (our spirit), but we are too "flesh conscious" (most/sometimes) to hear Him speak.

The book also stressed the fact that we are carriers of the Spirit of God and as long as we are born again we can have an overflow of that Spirit if we remain in constant fellowship with God through His Word, in the Place of Prayer, Speaking in Tongues, Worshiping and consciously feeding our mind with the right content and surrounding ourselves with the right set of company.

I'll encourage you to buy the book and get more insightful tips on how to live a Spirit-led life.

I also promise to share some of my notes via twitter handle, you can follow @chichiogbonnaya so you don't miss out on this.

Now let's talk about slaying your goals for 2017.

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Goal setting is very key to living a focused and purposeful life, which is all I'm about.

I inspire youths to live a chaste, focused and purposeful life.

One way, I've been able to achieve this; even in my own life is by setting goals for myself.

Although I sometimes don't accomplish all my goals, at least I try to achieve about 80% percent of them and move the others forward. There is something called "balance brought forward" in accounting. (please, Google it or ask any accounting student closest to you).

So when I don't meet up, I make them "a balance brought forward" and add them to the new set of goals. That way; though late, I still get to achieve my goals. After all, it's better late than never.

In case you are yet to set your goals, or still worried about how you're going to slay them, I hope the following steps will help you remain focused and ultimately inspire you to slay your goals in 2017 and years to come.

1. TALK TO GOD ABOUT YOUR GOAL(S): 

🎶🎶Prayer is the Key, Prayer is the key. 

         Prayer is the Master key... 

        Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayer.

        Prayer is the Master Key.🎶🎶

I am sure you recall this song. It was both a Nursery and Primary rhyme back in the days (I don't know what they sing in schools these days). 

As simple as this song is and as ordinary as we made it sound back then, it's actually a "VERY WORDED SONG." Prayer is the Master Key that opens the door to any goal. It is the master key that will help you slay all your goals this year.

I attended a programme while I was an undergraduate, and Daddy E .A Adeboye said, "most times people start a project before carrying God along. When they ought to tell God about the project, before, during and after the project." 

The Bible also says, "which man before building a house will not first sit down and estimate the cost? (Luke 14:28). 

To further buttress these statements, I strongly believe that prayer would have been number one on the to-do list of that man in Luke 14:28. 

A man plans, but it is God that establishes it (Proverbs 16:9). 

I feel as a wise person, rather than planning, it's best to FIRST talk to the Person who makes the plan happen rather than making the plans, before going to Him. 

For instance, if you want to buy a house, won't it be wise to go through a Real Estate Management Personnel or the right channels of acquiring a property? Would you do it your own way and fall a victim of the popular fraudsters called "Omo onile"? (ask a Lagosian for further explanation).

This applies to your goals too. You have to cultivate the habit of going to the Source first, then you can reach for the substance. Even if you have it all mentally figured out, still go to Him in prayer, and when you're done praying...

     2. WRITE IT DOWN: 

Write down the vision, make it plain... (Habakkuk 2:2) 

Document the goals, those things you want to achieve and how you plan to achieve them. I know some people who say they don't like to write it down, if this works for you too all means stick too it. But, I'll suggest you write it down.

For those who prefer to write (or not😊), here are a few tips to help you write a clear and concise goal.

• Spiritual Goal: In this segment, write down what you want to achieve spiritually. 

1. Do you want to fast every week or every two days or once a       month? 

2. Do you want to attend all church activities this year? 

3. Do you want to read certain books of the bible before the          year runs out?

It can be a new quiet time or study prayer time. For me, I want to read through the bible this year.

• Health Goal: 

Here you state some of the steps you want to take to improve your health this year. Eat more vegetables, register with a gym, and find out your genotype and blood group too (yeah! Trust me some people don't know theirs yet). Whatever thing you want to do in order to improve your health this year, list them here.

• Financial Goal: 

write out a savings plan, how much you want to save weekly, monthly, quarterly. This depends on how you earn and what you earn. Do you want to save 40% of your income, invest 35% and spend 15%? Decide what your financial plans are and note them in this segment.

• Career Goal: 

Do you want to write a professional exam, or take a professional course? Or, read more books in your area of interest, change a job, get another degree, go for your masters or retire to start your own business? Decide what your career goals are and note them here. Please note that the major objective here is to improve intellectually and ultimately get more money too.

• Social goal: 

Do you want to develop healthy friendships/relationships? Do you want to start to start dating that lady you've been admiring or you want to give that guy that has been talking to you a chance? Are you planning to develop a more intimate relationship with your immediate and extended family members? 

Do you plan to travel a lot this year, or simply steer clear of any form of social activity to work on your intra and interpersonal skills? List out all you have to do to achieve a healthy social lifestyle.

Write all these down and any other thing you decide that would spice up your list. The 5 segments listed above have helped me over the years and still very useful till date.

    3. DILIGENTLY WORK TOWARDS IT:

The bible says a man that is diligent in his works, will stand before Kings and not men (Proverbs 22:29).

Hard work pays. It pays both in cash and kind. That is, when you work hard (and become a success), you will not only be celebrated by men, you will have enough money to celebrate yourself and friends inclusive. 

It is only a foolish man that desires to be rich and doesn't work towards it. I know it is God who gives the power to make wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18), but His precepts also say a man that doesn't work should not eat (2 Thessalonians 3:10). 

Therefore, for you to slay those goals this year, note that there is no time to check the clock, start running with that vision now. 

It's not going to be easy, but if you keep at it, it will all be worth eventually. A mother doesn't remember the pains of pregnancy when she finally sees her bundle of joy. 

Have you ever wondered why doctors and nurses use the word "push" in the labour room? I believe they understand the dynamics of "Pressing Until Something Happens" but as a Christian, I'll replace the pressing with "Pray, Praise". 

When you are in the "labour room" of achieving your goals this year, don't forget to pray and praise. Remember the statement daddy Adeboye made. The spirituality shouldn't be at the beginning of execution or before it, it should continue during and after the execution.  As long as you are alive, there is always room for improvement. Never let setbacks, keep you from staying with your goals. Be diligent, wait till your change comes (Job 14:14) 

Again, painstakingly stay with your goals, refuse no for an answer, be intentional about your dealings, pray and work it out and see God show up for you mightily.

    4.RUN FROM DISTRACTION:

Do not be deceived, evil communication corrupts good manner (1 Corinthians 15:33). 

One of the things you have to do if you must slay your goals this year is to do away with distractions, whether they come as a person, a habit or an activity. There are certain friends you have to bid goodbye, there are places you must stop going to, there are movies you shouldn't watch and songs you've got to delete from your phones. 

As a matter of fact, delete those games from your phone. People laugh at me when I say I seldom watch TV, I have my reasons. I deleted candy crush and BBM from my phone because I realised it was distracting and addictive, and I couldn't curb it. There are times I turn off my data, so I can concentrate on other things.

There are certain people I don't bother reading their posts on social media (cos I know they'll not edify me in any way) and there are people who I intentionally turned on the notification button for so I can get notified when they post, because I know their contents are usually rich and edifying for my spirit, soul and body. 

You've got to build yourself to a level where you just don't take in every junk your see on TV, social media, listen to via radio or your phone. Proverbs 4:23 states we should guard our heart for it determines the course of our life. What you consume either makes or destroys you.

If the devil is going to attack you from slaying your goal this year, he will start by messing up your mindset. He knows that when your thought process changes, your focus will too. So be conscious of what you take in, by sight or by listening. FLEE FROM EVERY DISTRACTION.

      5. TRUST GOD AGAIN:

TRUST God all the way. The truth is, I can't promise you a smooth ride all through 2017, but I can promise you a triumphant ride if you don't stop trusting God.

Many might be your afflictions this year, but I am certain that God will deliver you from it all if you trust Him. He has promised to never leave nor forsake you, all you have to do is hold on to Him tightly and you'll never be let down. He loves you too much to let any harm come your way. 

If you will slay your goals this year, trust in the Lord, delight in the Him and He will grant the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4). I woke up one morning with this Psalms in my Spirit. 

What I had in my spirit was "Happy is the man who's trust is in the Lord". I had to check the scriptures to get the correct words. (Psalms 37:4) But trust me, you can't trust God and be sad.

Trust in Him with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, as you go about your business/daily activity this year and always, acknowledge Him and He will CERTAINLY direct your path.

Finally, as you go slaying your goal this year, walk/work with the consciousness that God has open doors that no man can shut. Walk-through and possess what's yours.

See you on the winning side.

I love you always and you are always in my heart.

Chichi Ogbonnaya

Aforcetoreckonwith

NOTE:

Please feel free to leave a comment and also your contributions on how ones GOAL can be achieved.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MAN WANTS?

Hi there☺!

Trust the year has been going on pretty well..

Okay!

I was thinking about you, and I promised I wasn't going to give you articles from yours truly alone.

Yeah! I love you that much.

While I was surfing and reading from different inspiring writers, I stumbled on a very interesting blog and this article was cuddled from there.

Everything the author wrote resonated with me and I thought to share with you too.

Enjoy dear.❤❤❤❤❤❤

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Relationships are’t one-sided, they’re not the best they can be unless both parties are striving toward health, holiness, and healing in their lives. I think sometimes it’s easy for women to see the deficits and needs in the men around them, while never fully acknowledging the need for growth in their own lives.

What it comes down to is this: just like women are not satisfied in defining a real man by his muscle mass and sex drive, real men are shifting their perception of what they are looking for in a woman. I see a new generation of men rising up, who in their maturity and discernment understand that boobs, bikinis, and sex appeal have little to do in the equation of a healthy and meaningful marriage.

Here are the qualities that these real men are looking for in their brides-to-be:

Realness

It’s sometimes hard to believe that being “real” is attractive to a man.

I think it’s easy for us women to look at the billboards and magazines that fill our minds with airbrushed beauty and enhanced bodies and think that being real makes you less than the others. But I’ve found that real men are attracted to a woman who reveals her natural self. My husband has always told me that I’m most beautiful when I am most like me: before the makeup, the hair, and the fashion have taken away from my natural self. I hear that same thing from men time and time again. There is something about the beauty of a real woman that far exceeds the plastic Barbie version of ourselves that we women so much strive for and believe in.

But men are not simply looking for a woman who is real with her appearance, but real with who she is. When it comes to attracting a real man, there is no need to pretend. They’re not looking for a woman who pretends to be into sports, cars, sex, or anything else she thinks her man wants. They are looking for a woman to be fully herself…personality, quirks, deficits and all. Ladies, these are the things that make you unique and set you apart from every other woman. Embrace your real self, and let it shine.

Confidence

There is something about a confident woman that exudes beauty and attraction to a man. A woman who is confident knows who she is and what she believes, and holds on to that in her interactions with others. She believes in herself, and knows that she is valuable standing alone. She’s not defined by her relationship status, her physical appearance, or her sex appeal. She doesn’t buy into the lies that her value is dependent on what she does- but rather, who she is. Because a woman of confidence is aware that her value is rooted in nothing else but who she is in Christ, there is no need to flirt around or flaunt her stuff.

Flirting and flaunting will most definitely attract a certain type of man to your side, but you’ll have to keep flirting and keep flaunting your entire life in order to keep his interest. I don’t know about you ladies, but that kind of relationship dynamic is far too much work and emotional baggage for my liking. There’s no need for skimpy outfits and cleavage when you’re on the hunt for a real man- because real man will be attracted to you because of who you are- not what you have to offer him…and just continuing to be yourself will be all you need to do to keep him there. That’s what healthy relationships are meant to be.

Beauty

Most men will tell you that it’s important for them to be attracted to their significant other. The problem with this is that sometimes we as women misinterpret this to think that the way to a man’s heart is by achieving super-model status. We beat ourselves up emotionally, physically, and mentally trying to fit into a mold that we were never meant to fill. From what I understand- to a real man, beauty is defined as so much more than physical appearance. I’ve met tons of men who are completely turned off by women who are gorgeous on the outside, but hollow on the inside.

Real men are looking for a woman who displays true beauty, a beauty that cannot be enhanced, made up, or airbrushed. They are looking for a woman who resonates with the beauty of kindness, compassion, humor, strength, love, joy, and gentleness. Believe it or not, real men are more interested in the size of a woman’s heart and mind than the size of her waist. It’s ironic then, that our society pressures women into keeping their focus on the external- the things that matter very little at the end of every relationship. Unlike physical beauty, true beauty cannot be fabricated…and it’s the only thing that will draw and keep the heart of a real man. A quote I read says it best, “A real man is not looking for the most beautiful woman in the world, but for the woman who will make his world the most beautiful”.

Passion

Let me clarify- there is a huge difference between a passionate woman, and an dramatic woman. The first is the kind that men flock to, the latter is the type they run away from…and never look back. If there is one thing that I hear again and again from men, is that women need to be less emotionally-driven. Men, as much as I hate to admit it, I think you’re onto something here. Emotions are such a valuable part of human beings, for men and women alike. But I think a huge problem arises within the tendency for women to let their emotions take the lead. It’s important for us as women to be driven by what we know and balanced by what we feel. Feelings should never lead the way.

But now that we’ve discussed what passion isn’t, here’s what it is- being a passionate woman means allowing your heart and life to be driven by things that are meaningful, invested in things that are good, and living a life that is purposeful. It means being a woman whose life is not defined by nail salons, tanning beds, and clothing boutiques- but one who lives for so much more. It means having goals, believing in dreams, and holding on to your values. It means being defined and propelled by justice, mercy, forgiveness, charity and grace. It means striving for healing in your own life and in the world around you. Living a life of passion is important, because that passion will seep into every part of your life- relationships included.

It’s time to redefine the qualities that we as women think we need to have to impress a man. It’s time to say no to the draw of sex appeal and begin to believe that true admiration from men to women comes only when we begin to respect ourselves. Real men are looking for real women who will reflect to them the qualities of a loving God- a God who has made us to be confident, passionate, genuine – and oh, so beautiful in every way. May we as women strive to reflect Him in all that we do.

Real men, come and get it…

DEBRA FILETA