AM I WHAT I WEAR? 2

It’s funny how a picture can kindle different reactions from people; especially one that has a Christian sister wearing a Muslim attire.

That was the case of the picture attached to the first part of this post.

Another thing I deduced from my previous post… people do make “assumptions” based on what they see. Do they draw a conclusion? Well, I really can’t say.

I also realised that a lot of people don’t do the following….
1.    They don’t read posts they see on Social Media; especially when a picture is attached. They just comment, react to or like the picture and move on.
2.    They don’t ask the right questions, they either make assumptions or a one-sided conclusion.
3.    They still don’t understand the difference between REALITY and FICTION.

But I refuse to digress and make the aforementioned my business (FOR NOW), let’s conclude on the subject matter first and if I’m “LED” I will address them in subsequent posts.
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Tunde and Sarah (both 15 years old) wanted to know if they could “DO” anything they wanted as Christians, hence the reason for the first post. Sarah was the one who asked, “Am I what I wear?” I hesitated for few seconds before I blurted out “No you can’t do anything you want as a Christian”. 

I couldn’t give a convincing answer to the issue of dressing because I have seen tongue-speaking sisters wear dresses that show off the thighs to church. “Shey that don collect the “skabashing” from them ni?” Translation: (Does it make them less Spiritual?) Hence the reason I asked the “JAMB Questions” in my first post.

All thanks to Holy Parcel, Francisca Victoria, Jumoke and, Victor, I was able to give not just “Chichi-based” responses. I was able to show my teenage friends comments from other people and the Bible references these individuals cited. (I’ve attached one and included some in the article).

While I was researching for the best answer to give them, I stumbled on something online and it reads, “What you wear and how you wear it is not half as important as why you wear it”. This is one of the premises I will be anchoring this discussion.

Have you or heard someone say, “This Sunday/Today ehn, I will show them. I am dressing to kill”.?

One begins to wonder, to kill who? Why should an individual or people be the reason we adorn ourselves in certain ways?

Would God desire that we dress to “Kill” anyone when He sent His Son to give us LIFE in abundance? 

And don’t you think I will be right if I said the idea of dressing to “Kill” is from the devil because it corroborates with his mission here on earth to KILL, STEAL and to DESTROY?

I understand the importance of looking good, but as a Christian, your person should be beyond your outward adornment. As a matter of fact, who you are should be reflected from the INSIDE-OUT. (1 PETER 3:3). You already are aware that it is “men” that concern themselves with the outward appearance, but God is more interested in who you are on the inside.

Nowadays, it is possible to see a well-dressed individual with a “worn-out/torn character” and a not-so-good-looking person with a pleasant character and attitude. Therefore I agree that one shouldn’t be judged solely by their appearance and Holy Parcel’s contribution further explains this…

…“The most significant item on the cover of a book more often than not, is the Title and not the design. However, what meets the eyes first is the design and not the inscription. Hence, the phrase, don't be disappointed by the outlook, take a peek at the contents, you just might find what it seemingly absent!”

He also said, “…the outlook doesn't necessarily define the content. Gold is never found on the layer of the earth's crust, you have to dig very deep. Take Nigeria for example, the places where Oil is found more often than not are the least expected places. There is an adage in Yoruba that interprets as "A white Pap proceeds out of a Black pot", I'm sure you can decipher.”

However, what if one isn’t patient enough to “take a peek…”? 

Didn’t the Bible say by their fruits, ye shall know them? Is a Christian’s appearance not part of the “fruits” that the world should see and glorify our Father? 

How many unbelievers will be patient to come close enough to realise that we are not what we wear, but much more?

The truth is man judges by sight, only God judges by looking into the heart. This knowledge should guide everything we do and also help us do them with moderation (1 Corinthians 14:40). As Christians we ought to be guided by the Spirit of God in whatever we do because we were made in the Image and likeness of God, hence we reflect Him. (Genesis 1:27). If your appearance contradicts who God is, then you need to check it. (Matthew 5:16)

Also, you do not want unbelievers questioning your salvation or fall into sin resulting from your appearance (1 Corinthians 8:13).

Victor also mentioned another salient reason one can’t do whatever one wants as a Child of God. He said “You are not your own, Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians. That forms the bedrock for what we do. You, therefore, glorify God in your body which is God's”.

Some Christians forget that their body isn’t theirs and they “expose” it to all sort of unhealthy contents that they consume either by sight, listening, speech or dressing, all to satisfy the flesh. One question you need to ask yourself is WHY? Why am I wearing this dress? Why am I walking in this particular way? Why do I talk the way I do around certain people and change when I’m with another?

It hurts me when I see young people do things just because it’s trending on social media or their circle of friends are doing it. That the world is doing it doesn’t make it right! (Proverbs 16:2) You also need to ask yourself if your “appearance” truly depicts “WHO” and “WHOSE” you are.

I love how Holy Parcel puts this, “The way you dress determines the way you are addressed. Do you know if the President of this Country should be found in Oshodi without the necessary aides, but with suit and tie carrying a briefcase and rushing to catch up with a BRT, people will doubt it's truly him, they'll say it's his look-alike. Why? Cos his appearance doesn't really portray his known identity. Moreover, I think the phrase came into existence in modern times, in the era of Interviews and Social Functions.”

Yes! This is absolutely correct. Appearance speaks volume about one’s personality and it attracts things and people to one’s life.

Some years back; before I gave my life to Christ, I took pleasure in wearing outfits that exposed parts of my body that should be covered and looking back now, I fully understand why I attracted the kind of men I did back then. They all wanted to have a feel of what they were seeing.

I didn’t know WHO or WHOSE I am then, but as a growing Child of God, I know that my body is God’s temple and should be treated with utmost sacredness. It shouldn’t be adorned to please men, neither should I listen to nor watch content that will pollute this Holy Temple (my body).

I read somewhere that “As Christians, we are Billboards for Christ”. My question is what are people reading off you? Are you what you wear or is your appearance a contrast to who you really are?

Quoting Holy Parcel, “You are not really what you wear literally. But how many people will you have to converse with to describe who you are to them? Many people will walk by you and based on what you wear/your appearance, they will pass judgement on your matter and move along without waiting to hear from you on reasons why some actions were taken. Galatians 2:14 had Paul accusing Peter without even waiting to ask Peter why he did what he did...if at all there is a cogent and valid reason. My dear, so you see, in a way, you are what you wear...to People, not necessarily to yourself. Only you know your worth, but to make us know your worth, you have to prove it to us. One of such ways you do that is in what you wear.”

Truthfully, what we do is a reflection of who we are on the inside (Matthew 7:20).

One of the people who commented on the previous post, Uche, also said “If the container is poorly produced, what’s the certainty that the content is not haphazardly concocted. Everything has to do with how well the content is presented”.

As much as I would love to say so much on this topic, I will say less so you can digest what has been said already and I trust the Spirit of God to say much more than I have written here and hopefully make you rid your wardrobe, circle of friends and mobile phone (including other channels through which your mind, body and Spirit is being polluted) of the things that defile you.

I summarise with this, let your moderation be known to all men. As a Christian you are really not what you “wear”, but for the sake of others (unbelievers), you have to watch what you wear. You just might be the Bible someone out there is reading, do not be the reason such individual end up believing amiss.

I am not a Muslim, but how will people know I am for Jesus Christ if I go around dressed in a Hijab?

Chichi Ogbonnaya

#Aforcetoreckonwith

AM I WHAT I WEAR?

Greetings dear friend!

It’s been a while since we talked, hope you’ve been good.

I heard Donald Trump won the US Presidential Election. Is this true?

I also heard that Gala is now N70 (Seventy Naira). Is this also true?

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I’m sure you are wondering why I am asking these “JAMB” questions...

Well, that’s because this particular post is basically about questions and I will appreciate if you oblige me by answering them.

It will not only give answers to the questions some of the young people I counsel ask, but it will also aid the completion of the main article.

So please answer truthfully…

• Why should one never judge a book by its cover?

• If the container is not good, why should I believe the content will be any better?

• Why should people be judged by their appearance?

• Can’t I do/wear what I want as a Christian?

• Am I really what I wear?

Thank you for obliging with your comments below.

You are helping a young teenage girl and two teenage boys live their lives (in clarity) purposefully.

God bless You!

Chichi Ogbonnaya
#Aforcetoreckonwith

5 THINGS TO DO, WHILE YOU WAIT

Thank you for reading still.

I ended the last article with a question. Have you answered it?

If you're yet to, kindly read here http://tinyurl.com/zq6rv2d

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While waiting, are you to fold your arms and let the days roll by while you wait? Or keep looking forlorn till "the break" comes?

CERTAINLY NOT!

Dear friend, if you cannot be happy now, the BREAK you are waiting for will NOT make you happy either. You owe yourself all the love, attention, celebration, and commitment now and not later.

Here are five (5) other things you should do while you wait…

1.    DISCIPLINE YOURSELF: That you’ve not got that promotion/job isn’t an excuse to cheat/steal. Your waiting period is not the time to TEST different waters or become a SERIAL DATER. Learn to submit your desires to God, let Him be all that you WANT and NEED. Learn to say no to what you do not want and YES to what is right. This has nothing to do with being rude or arrogant, but it simply means knowing what is right and painstakingly doing it.

2.    ATTENTION TO SELF: As I mentioned earlier, you owe yourself so much love and care. I hear a lot of people read a long list of what they want in a man/woman and I am amazed at the list. The disheartening thing about their list is the fact that they DO NOT possess half of the things they have listed.

I know you have at some point heard the statement, “you can’t give what you don’t have”, and I will like to add that “you can’t get what you can’t give”. It is only with God one gets all the things one does not deserve (GRACE), but with humans, the people you attract most times, are a reflection of who you are.

So you want a good man/woman? Be a good person. Do you want a good result? Study hard and pray harder. While you wait for your business to expand, get professional training on entrepreneurship. Learn from people who have gone ahead of you. Read books, ask questions. Build and invest in relationships, give voluntary services (if you can afford it), get a job and save towards building your business empire.

If it’s a relationship issue, find out what you did wrong in your previous relationship and look for ways to be better. Read books on how to build healthy and lasting relationships, develop a new approach to solving problems and be genuinely interested in the people you meet. Whatever you do, just make sure you are working and walking towards being a BETTER YOU every day.

3.    BE KIND: Kind people are irresistibly attractive. You can’t help but love them. Let me tell you something about being kind, it gives you a GREAT feeling about yourself. I don’t know about you, but each time I do something nice to someone (especially strangers) I feel fulfilled.

When I got the title for this article, I immediately begged the guy in front of me (on the queue) to take a picture capturing yours truly and the others on the line. He hesitated at first, and then I smiled at him, pleaded again stating why I needed the picture. He agreed to take the picture and also said I would pay him for the service.

Initially, I thought, “Which kain guy be this one na? Babe, dey ask you for a favour you dey request money, shame no dey catch you.” But, on a second thought, I felt there was nothing wrong with paying him for the embarrassment of publicly "snapping" a stranger on a queue of several other strangers. It turned out he was joking as the five Hundred Naira I offered was rejected. He smiled and thanked me and so did I.

That you are 32 years old and single is not enough reason to be angry with everyone around you who is in a beautiful relationship. Celebrate them and trust God to hasten yours. Do not be anxious about getting a job that you forget to pray about an offer before accepting it. Do not be mad at every guy because your last relationship did not work out. 

Be kind. Use the magic words, PLEASE, SORRY, THANK YOU, PARDON ME, EXCUSE ME and be open to corrections.

4.    BE PATIENT: Do not be like some people I noticed at the BRT queue trying to jump the line. To everything there is a time, don’t try to jump-start anything before it’s due. It will end as fast as it started.

I know a certain young lady who hurried into a relationship; after waiting for so long, with a guy she used to know. In no time, they had sex and she got pregnant. Guess what! The guy disappeared. The rest, as they say, is history.

There is the need for you to be patient during your waiting period. If you have chosen to wait, then wait honourably. No matter how competitive your line of business is, your clients will come to you. 

No matter how unfavourable the country’s economy is, your job will not elude you. It does not matter if you are less qualified for a position, if God says it’s yours then you are getting it.

I know all your friends are getting married, some already having children and no guy seems to be asking you out yet, be patient, and yours will come too.

I am sure some people on the other queues would have been jealous of the Ikorodu passengers because they had two buses in less than ten minutes. But I was unperturbed because I was confident in the fact that a bus will surely come for my route and it sure did in no time. 

This is the same confidence I want us to have. YES, it is happening for others. 

YES, you’ve waited for so long. YES, you’re not getting younger. YES, you have bills to pay. YES! YES!! YES!!!

But NO! It does not mean that yours will not come. 

I will also like to add that by all means, avoid being jealous of people who seems to be “boarding the bus before you”, for all you know they might have been in the queue longer than you.

So let them, board, it’s their turn, yours too will come. 

The interesting thing about patiently waiting for your time is the reality that you will forget how long you have waited when it finally happens and you will then become the envy of the people on other queues.

5.    TALK TO GOD: some of us make the mistake of thinking God is not concerned about every area of our lives. We get so overwhelmed by our situation and forget to talk to God about it. Even when we kneel to pray, we go into His presence acting all macho forgetting that He is all-knowing. Let us quit being formal with God, He already knows what you are going through and how you feel.

Tell him how you feel, say it the way you feel it. You like a guy, tell God about it. You feel hurt by how someone has treated you, tell Him about it. You want a good job or increase in your business, tell God about it. He wants us to talk Him and He is willing to answer our questions.

Stop being anxious about things, but in all through prayers, supplication with thanksgiving, make your request known to God.

The Bible, is indeed an ideal manual for life. Everything you want and need is in the Bible. Stop looking at the world, start looking into the Word.

Finally, the waiting period should not be treated as the wailing period. It is a time to explore YOU.

Get to know your strengths and weaknesses.  Enjoy your company. Spend some time alone listening to yourself. Do not wait for that big break to complete you. 

You are complete in Christ Jesus the Head of all principalities and powers. You should live, move and have your BE-ING in Him.

I once told a guy “I am the CAKE. Any man that comes into my life is just the icing”, but a friend of mine corrected me when I gave him the gist. He said “CHICHI, you are the CAKE & and the ICING. YOU are the COMPLETE PACKAGE”.

So I am saying this to you as well, WHILE YOU WAIT, be aware that you are not waiting for anyone/thing to complete you. 

YOU already are THE COMPLETE PACKAGE!

It’s only a matter of TIME; you too shall be celebrated…

In the meantime, I CELEBRATE YOU!!!

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Trusting God for something? Or you want to be friends with Jesus Christ?

Say this short prayer:

Lord Jesus,

I believe you died for my sins and rose again.

I pray that You forgive my sins and unbelief,

Wash me with Your blood,

Come into my heart and be my Lord and Saviour.

I choose to trust in You and wait on You

Thank You Lord for saving me.

Amen.

Thanks for reading

CHICHI Ogbonnaya

#Aforcetoreckonwith

WHILE YOU WAIT...

Hola Amigo! Como estas?

Should you be wondering what that is, it’s Spanish for “Hello Friend? How are you?”

I believe you’ve been doing great and enjoying your life… I have been enjoying mine.

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I consider this a late post because the inspiration came during the Independence celebration, but since I was not convinced in my spirit what the title should be I decided to stall for a while. It was going to be titled “SEASON”, but Friday, 7th October 2016; the title came to my mind while I was waiting on a BRT (Bus Rapid Transit) queue.

It was VERY long and I recall counting about three different queues.

On observing for a while, I realised they were all for different destinations and I was surprised at how the stationary bus Coordinator was able to allocate the BRTs to the different destination queues as they arrived. He did it so well that the people on one queue were not complaining about the other queue getting a bus before them. 

Although the Ikorodu bus queue got two buses at some point because their queue was longer, a large number of people still maintained their cool( But you sabi Naija peeps na! few people murmured a bit) and soon enough another bus came.

Witnessing all these and meditating on certain things birthed the title of this article, While You Wait…

We all have something we are waiting for.

Whether it’s a major break in one’s business, promotion at work, recognition in a community/church, admission into school, call for a job interview/ from a partner who walked out on you without any explanation, a marriage proposal from that guy you have been dating for several years, or simply just finding someone to be in a healthy, loving relationship with, we all have a thing or two that causes us to stare at either our biological time or the one society/family has set ticking for us.

For some of us, it is more than one thing, while for a number of us, it is just ONE thing. Also, while others have awaited those things for few days, weeks, months, a lot of us have been waiting for years and for some reason, it feels as though we have been waiting forever and there are days we fear it might NEVER come. Then we begin to get Angry, Anxious, and sometimes, Antisocial (3 A^s).

I used to exhibit the three A^s (Angry, Anxious, and Antisocial) and much more. For so long, I anticipated a major break in my business and the day I will be swept off my feet by my KNIGHT IN SHINNING ARMOUR.  It felt like I was going to wait for the rest of my life for that to happen and the devil came with very scary thoughts that almost made me bitter towards life and God. 

I Bless God for taking away the reproach! It took sometime, though...Life is all about Time and Season.

When you read through Ecclesiastes 3 you will see that indeed there is time for everything and when it’s time, it’s TIME (No pun intended). 

That is, if there is any delay now, it simply means it’s not time yet. Even if you have "missed it" before; as long as you’re in Christ Jesus, that is in the past… you are new now.

So what then should be done while you wait?

I will be sharing more in my next post.

Thank you for reading

Chichi Ogbonnaya

#Aforcetoreckonwith

HEY, LITTLE GIRL!!!

Hey, little girl!

How beautiful and intelligent you're becoming by the day.

I look at you and I am in admiration of the teenage girl you are becoming. 

And it gives me so much confidence in the woman you will become.

Hey, little girl! 

I see how you stare at YOU in the mirror.

I also know how beautiful and confident you feel afterwards

Oh yes, I do! I once took such long stares. 

Adjusting and readjusting just to get my peers' approval.

Then the "show off" begins.

But, hey little girl!

Now is not the time for the show off.

Please ignore your friends if they say otherwise

And avoid the Social media lies likewise

Little girl! I know you notice the winks and hear the "catcalls"...

And you so much delight in the love notes and the sweet talks...

besides, mum and dad never use such words...

Or simply tell you how beautiful you are and how much you are adored...

It's a lot harder getting them from your siblings, all they call you is ugly and dull

But, sweet little girl, that's because they don't know better...

And don't think the boys are wiser...

...Whistling, catcalling, winking and writing sweet-empty-nothings

So little girl,

If you would listen to me, I will say "RUN from these boys

Including the likes of uncle Matthew, they are only after your innocence." 

Trust me, little girl, there is nothing beautiful about "stolen innocence."

If you will avoid Rosie, Tara and Gladys.

And get closer to Chioma, Tola and Eunice. 

Boys like Philip and Thomas will call you names like "naive, mummy's girl and childish" 

But not to worry, Boys like Ephraim, Joseph and Tobi will stand up for you.

If you will study NOW and HARD, your grades will improve too.

And maybe, mum and dad will give you those hugs you crave for.

The encouraging words you need will come too.

Just maybe! 

If not, maybe your siblings will call you better names like "efiwe, bookworm, smart girl"

Just maybe! 

But even if they don't, the world will celebrate you.

Because little girl,

You are beautiful.

You are smart.

You are not an object of sexual pleasure.

You deserve a quality education

You deserve to live in an atmosphere of love not hawking on the street

You deserve constant words of affirmation

 Hey, Little girl!

You can be ANYTHING you want. 

And because you are SPECIAL in a BEAUTIFUL way,

I join the rest of the world to celebrate you today.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL DAY OF THE GIRL CHILD

To all the beautiful girls in my life and around the world.

@Chichi Ogbonnaya
#Aforcetoreckonwith