The first time I read the story of Abigail and Nabal, I could not stop thinking about why a Beautiful and Sensible woman would marry a fool. I mean, why? What happened? Was Nabal the ONLY man available? Was she forced into the marriage or betrothed as a child? Or was it just a situation of I-am-getting-old-let-me-sha-marry-sha.
These questions were years ago
though and I somehow gave up. Interestingly, I recently read that part of the
Bible and as I read through that Chapter again, I got an aha! Moment. Finally!
I found it!
If you have been following me
closely for a while, then my interest in relationships is not a surprise to
you, but if it is your first time here…. Hello! Nice to meet you too.
I love relationships!
Healthy, mutually beneficial, and sustainable relationships. I love LOVE. I am
an advocate for healthy relationships and doing it in accordance with God’s
precepts.
This interest of mine is evident
in almost all I do, including when I study the Bible. I don’t know if it’s just
me or you have experienced this, but I strongly believe that God relates with
and reveals things to us based on our interests, what He wants us to see,
learn, know and act on per time (life’s season) and they are usually connected
to our assignment (purpose) here on earth.
The Bible is one fail-safe channel
through which He constantly reveals these things to us. PLEASE READ YOUR
BIBLE!
Back to my story, in recent
times, each time I study the Bible, I usually see relationship issues and can
literally preach a relationship sermon from the different books of the Bible
that I have read so far. I
guess you understand my curiosity about why an Abigail would settle for a
Nabal.
I counsel young individuals and one thing I
tell the single ones amongst them is this, “God’s desire for you is the
best and SETTLING IS NOT AN OPTION!”
Abigail clearly settled. In case
you are wondering how I know this for sure, kindly read through 1 Samuel
Chapter 25 and pay attention to verses 39-41.
David had heard the news about
Nabal’s death and sent his servants (on his behalf) to ask Abigail’s hand in
marriage and on accepting, she was to return with the servant.
Abigail’s response in verse 41
was all I needed to know she settled for a Nabal. While I saw a humble,
respectful, and down-to-earth woman in this verse, one who revered an
honourable and anointed man – David, even in absentia. I also saw an insecure
woman, hence, my conclusion on her settling for Nabal, despite all her quality
character traits and personality.
Abigail, in my opinion, though being
a Beautiful and Sensible woman, had insecurities AKA Low self-esteem. She was
uncertain, had anxiety and lacked confidence in herself.
To explain further, I say this
because Abigail, who was able to discern David as an ideal MAN, did not think
she was worthy to be his bride.
You see, as believers, we can be
tongue speaking, demon binding and Bible reading, yet still feel unqualified
for the things Christ paid for us through His Crucifixion, Death and
Resurrection.
Now, while we can NEVER be
qualified for the Grace and Mercy we enjoy in God through Christ, the beautiful
human and materials gifts are for our enjoyment. They are the OTHER THINGS
added to us for seeking God’s Kingdom and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33).
However, some believers still work around with an impoverished mindset, begging
and slaving for or simply feeling undeserving of what is rightfully theirs as
Sons and Daughters of God. This was Abigail’s case (in my opinion) when she gave
her response in verse
41.
After settling for a Nabal and becoming
a widow, she probably gave up any hope of having a beautiful life and David’s
proposal was an “O pe o!” moment for her.
Low self-esteem is a killer! Insecurity
keeps you in bondage from living up to the fullness of your God-given potentials.
The cure to this is SELF-AWARENESS.
Self-awareness boosts your confidence as an individual. Self-awareness, in my opinion, is not a feeling of superiority; but it is knowing your strengths and weaknesses and mastering them well enough to help you go through life with a “can-do” attitude. Being self-aware helps you stand unwavering in your convictions in places where others will settle easily. - A-FORCE-TO-RECKON-WITH
Self-awareness is knowing Who and
Whose you are. It helps you negotiate from a place of understanding in
relationships as opposed to settling for less than you deserve.
If Abigail understood this, just
maybe, she would not have been with a Nabal in the first place. If she were self-aware,
maybe her response to David’s request would have been more “dignifying”.
If she were confident in herself, she would have understood that being a widow
didn’t mean she was insignificant, but a woman of worth who had substance that
would be valuable to any man wise enough to ask her hand in marriage.
If you are still reading, know that
you are a JEWEL OF INESTIMABLE VALUE (Male or female). You are
God’s Masterpiece and a gift to this world. Regardless of where you are, what
has happened to you or where you have been, there is value in you.
A 100 dollar note, regardless of
how many times you trample on it, is valuable anywhere in the world.
You have been created in God’s image, you are beautiful and made righteous in Christ. Never think less of yourself. You deserve the VERY best in life and that’s exactly what God has available for you, you only need to see yourself the way He sees you.
Your past is in the past! Christ
died for your past, present and future, so even if you were a commercial sex
worker, drug addict, alcoholic, fornicator, single parent and worst sinner
alive, understand that in Christ, you are BRAND NEW and you deserve the BEST
regardless of your history. Christ’s blood cleansed your past and gave you an
irrevocable lease to start life anew.
Do not be a sensible and good-looking believing individual with low self-esteem, you will only make poor choices at the end of the day and settle for less. Confidence in God, and yourself will help you make good choices to stay forward-thinking and optimistic even amid difficulties.
In case you are yet to meet Him
or simply want to start afresh with Him, kindly say this prayer:
Dear Jesus,
I believe you died for me too
And I believe you rose from the dead.
I invite you into my heart today,
I acknowledge you as my Lord and Saviour.
I believe I am forgiven and loved by You.
Thank you for saving me.
Amen!
I got a flip-side
to this story… To
read, click here.
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